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September 24th, 2010
From the 'Be a Scumbag for Dummies' file:

The website DatingDish.com recently ran an article on sneaky ways for guys to get their date drunk, since she'll loosen up and be more fun that way.  And they caught hell for it, because getting your date wasted on the sly sounds like a setup for date-rape.

The weird thing is, DatingDish is a site for women.  But they got so many complaints, the editor published an apology claiming the article was supposed to be satire, and that, quote, "We did not think this through."
Anyway, here's advice from these idiots on how to get a date drunk.  It would work on guys too.  But clearly, you should NEVER use alcohol to take advantage of someone.


#1.)  DON'T LET THEM EAT.  Obviously, the less someone eats, the drunker they'll get.  So pretend you'll have dinner, then skip it and just have some chips or snacks.

 
#2.)  PUT YOUR BOOZE IN THE FREEZER.  It goes down easier when it's really cold.


#3.)  SERVE CHAMPAGNE.  Most people don't keep champagne in their fridge, but something about the bubbles makes it go straight to your head.  And in the wise words of the DatingDish, quote, "[Y]our date will be very sleepy, very fast."

"So you have a narrow window in which to operate.  Unless, that is, you're into unconscious chicks.  But you're classier than that . . . right, bro?"  That's part of the satire thing they were talking about.  But you can see why people freaked out.

 
#4.)  USE GRAPEFRUIT JUICE.  It masks the smell of alcohol.  So go with a "Greyhound" . . . vodka and grapefruit juice . . . and you can't even taste the booze.

  


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