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August 3rd, 2015
Today on WJ

5AM (1):

-         There was a robot hiking across the world called the “Hitch bot.”  When the robot got to Philly, it was beheaded, vandalized and had its electronics stolen out from the inside of it.

-         Did Cecil the lion have a brother named Clawd?

5AM (2):

-         ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper has died at the age of 61.

-         Lollapallooza took place in Chicago over the weekend.

6AM (1):

-         If we had an audio crawl on or show what would it sound like?

-         Does Obama have a joystick in a secret room in the White House that lets him carry out his evil plans?

-         How often do bullets ricochet when they hit water?

-         Audio: How much has the NBA theme song changed over the years?

6AM (2):

-         If you’re going to carjack a car, don’t jack one that looks like it could be a cop car.

-         It’s picnic season; here are a few tips to help your next picnic go off without a hitch.

6AM (3):

-         Audio: Dolly Parton will never retire.

-         Can you name a single Lynn Anderson hit?

-         This day in history: What happened 523 years ago today?

6AM (4):

-         Sturgis is about to open in South Dakota. How many posers end up going each year?

-         Hurricane Katrina might have been the best thing to ever happen to the Superdome.

-         Why is it that the stuff that the Romans built is still standing but the modern stuff we build is shot after 50 years?

7AM (1)

-         A California man is suing In-n-Out Burger after he claims to have found meth in a milkshake.

-         You can tell where America is observing how movies with good messages are rated so poorly.

-         Who knew that the makers of Trojan condoms also make the Nair depilatory cream? Probably only Bruce Jenner…

-         NFL training camps opened up over the weekend. Are you ready for football season?

7AM (2):

-         Audio: Black women for Donald Trump!

-         Everyone get out your BANGO cards from last week because we’re ready to play another round of BANGO!

-         3 dead and 36 wounded in Chicago over the weekend. This is a marked decrease from last weekend. Perhaps Chicago should consider hosting a music festival every week… it may help lower the crime rate.

7AM (3):

-         Parody: Agent 001 has ISIS terrorists under control

-         Tragic: A ball boy on the “Liberal BJs” was killed after a batter inadvertently swung his bat while the child was near. The kid was wearing a helmet, but was still killed.

7AM (4):

-         Tragedy in India: India has now blocked access to over 800 porn sites!

-         What are the top words that women hate the most? Chunky, moist and flap are top contenders.

8AM (1):

-         Audio: You might be a redneck if…

-         Authorities seized over $400,000 in cash from Snoop Dogg’s bag as he was travelling to the UK.

-         A NASCAR driver ran over part of his pit crew last week. Billy Ed doesn’t want to hear about it though because he’s protesting the organization’s view on confederate flags.

-         Emails – Would you watch a porn called “Ronda Arouse-Me”?

8AM (2):

-         How long before Hillary Clinton has Don Trump killed?

-         Joe Biden is using his dead son as a stepping stone for the presidency.

8AM (3):

-         The glasses didn’t work for Rick Perry, so he’s looking into a new haircut now

-         Parody: The making of Donald Trump’s hair

-         Was a man named Eric Johnson arrested for simply being black?

8AM (4):


-         Audio: This man wants you to believe he’s never used drugs

-         If you’re in the military and you’ve been asked the question “Are you willing to fire on American citizens?” we want to talk to you!

9AM (1):

-         A report indicates that this July has been the deadliest month in Baltimore in the last 50 years.

-         Audio: “He didn’t do no wrong, he just shot a cop”

-         What happened to the “three strikes you’re out” rule?

-         Celebrity Birthdays

9AM (2):

-         Subway spokesman Jared Fogle allegedly paid for sex with a 16 year old girl

-         Emails

-         When did the government get into the business of telling people what kind of showerhead they can have?

9AM (3):

-         Which movies did well at the box office over the weekend?

-         Mark Zuckerberg has announced that he and his wife are expecting their first child. Mr. Kenneth has an idea on how to become the heir to his fortune.

9AM (4):

-         We hope to God that these open carry idiots don’t screw it up for everyone else.

-         How easy is it to “de-cock” a gun?



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