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June 22nd, 2015
Is sophmoric humor ever funny?

5AM (1):

-    Houston has so many Mexicans that even the Mexicans are leaving now. Turns out that Atlanta is the place to be now.
-    The census bureau is considering omitting race from their studies.
-    The Pope says “weapon manufacturers cannot call themselves Christians.”

5AM (2):

-    The Democrat’s war against guns continues – yet another police officer was killed by gunfire in New Orleans over the weekend.
-    Gun ownership in Switzerland is twice that of the United States and the gun violence is nearly nonexistent.

6AM (1):

-    A rap artist wants you to know that there should be more rap songs with meaningful lyrics. How about no rap songs?
-    Did you see the dinosaur movie over the weekend? There’s not any mystery why it’s doing so well in the box office.

6AM (2):

-    The longest span between a movie and its sequel is 64 years. The movie was Bambi.
-    Emails
-    4000 people lost power when a naked Seattle woman crashed into a power pole.
-    A former White House executive chef has been found dead in the mountains of New Mexico. Does anyone smell the Hillary death machine?

6AM (3):

-    Billy Graham’s grandson has made the news after admitting to an “inappropriate relationship” with someone at his church in Florida.
-    Have you heard about Barack Obama coffee… it’s black and weak. Does that joke offend you? According to reports, this joke can cause uproar to those in the Obama camp.
-    North Korea may have the remedy to AIDS, cancer and other maladies; they just need your money to find out more.

6AM (4):

-    A shooting at a kid’s birthday party occurred in Chicago over the weekend.
-    The Pope thinks we’re all pretty much walking dead

 
7AM (1)

-    What’s the death count in Chicago over the weekend?
-    Salon.com thinks that “White America must answer for the South Carolina atrocity”
-    Ever wondered why your eyes get red when you swim in a public pool? Turns out it’s the urine and sweat in the water.

7AM (2):

-    Jordan Speith won the US Open
-    Scientists have grown a boob in a lab with no woman attached.
-    20 percent of people say their least favorite word is “moist.”
-    A Colorado teenager died earlier this month from the bubonic plague.
-    Lyme disease sounds deceptively refreshing

7AM (3):

-    A-Rod is upset that the fan that caught his 300th home-run ball will be turning a profit on the item.
-    What do you think of when you hear the word “moist?”

7AM (4):

**
-    Cops may be taking their tasers home with them and tampering with them over the weekends.
-    Taser Report
-    How many cars these days offer manual transmissions?
-    If you plan to steal a car and can’t drive a standard, it’s best to make sure that you don’t steal a car with a manual transmission.

8AM (1):

**
-    The owner of a dog meat restaurant in China is sponsoring a national dog eating day
-    Parody: If Mexican-Chinese food existed, what would it taste like?
-    Rand Paul’s WSJ article aims to repeal IRS tax code
-    Those that support Barack are forever worried that certain issues could blight his legacy.

8AM (2):

-    Jonathon Gruber is back in the news again
-    Parody: Jonathon Gruber wants you to know that you’re stupid.
-    Would Vin Diesel make a good Kojak? After all, he’s racially homogenous…
-    Emails

8AM (3):

-    If you’re a fan of IPA beers, you may soon develop man boobs.
-    Parody: Why chase boobs when you can grow a set of your own?
-    32,000 people have been killed in terrorist attacks since 2008.
-    Congratulations to ISIS: they’ve now surpassed Al Qaeda as the biggest organized terrorist organization in the world.
-    The Supreme Court will make a ruling on the validity of gay marriage on a national level this week.

8AM (4):

-    Do you use a health app? We often question the accuracy of such apps…
-    Would you watch a Spider Man movie if he were gay?


 
9AM (1):

-    Audio: Barack says the ‘n’ word
-    Celebrity Birthdays
-    This day in history: Judy Garland died on this day in history in 1969

9AM (2):

-    Calls
-    It may be time to start stuffing your money between your mattresses according to some.
-    Have you tried the new pizza with hot dog meat in the crust?
-    Who wants to step up and be the official beer sponsor of the show?

9AM (3):

-    Charlie Sheen is going off on his ex wife again. Why are we supposed to care?
-    If the Pope lives by his words, he should give up all his riches, his security team and his fancy Pope house.

9AM (4):

-    Muslims are peaceful people, but only after they kill you.
-    And now a cautionary story for those that like to walk and text.
-    A Utah university has opened a ‘texting lane’ aimed at giving students a safer way to walk and text.
-    Should all movies feature dinosaurs now?
-    Mr. Eaux wants to know why there weren’t black people in the new Jurassic Park movie


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