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April 16th, 2015
Today on WJ

5AM (1):

-         In the news this morning: Kim Kardashian is releasing a book.

-         Is an asteroid the size of the Statue of Liberty on a collision course for Earth?

-         Barack’s entire M.O. is to direct the public’s attention away from him and onto things he deems more ‘sinister’. In reality, he’s the terrorist.

-         The average family only spends about half an hour together per day.

5AM (2):

-         Sage advice: Be careful what you demand. Aaron Hernandez learned this the hard way.

-         A Florida man thought it would be a great idea to land his flying bicycle on the Capitol lawn.

6AM (1):

-         There are a lot of different ways to say “meanwhile.” Many news anchors love to use the phrase “in other news…”

-         There are guys in our military that have had their arms, legs and brains blown out, but Barack will remind you that they ‘volunteered for it’.

6AM (2):

-         Kids today get too much of a self esteem boost from home. Once they get out into the real world, they end up shocked that things aren’t simply handed to them.

6AM (3):

-         Producer Ken went out to the Communist convention in Houston yesterday to speak to kids that ‘demand’ they are worth $15/hr. Audio coming up.

-         Parody: Do you want another spineless mouthpiece that ‘speaks for the people?’ Vote for this ass clown.

-         Hillary was on the prowl yesterday in her van. She hit up several factories to show the world that she’s just a ‘regular gal.’

-         Fox News revealed that Hillary Clinton is travelling with an entire film crew in an effort to document her interactions with common people.

6AM (4):

-         Bad news: If you thought the future was going to be bright, think again.

-         Audio: Is this man the future President of America?

-         The sports stations hate when we cover sports. Think about how we would feel if the sports guys started running their mouths about politics…

7AM (1)

-         Parody: Fishing with Morgan Freeman

-         This day in history

-         Many liberals believe that it’s far past due for a woman to be the face of the $20 bill. How much would this devalue the bill?

7AM (2):


-         Street Audio: Part 1 - Producer Ken hit the streets to speak with the Communist party fighting for $15/hr.

7AM (3):

-         Bill Orielly’s producer went out and asked liberals what they thought of the Republican presidential candidates.

-         How often do you go to church? You may not know that the words to “Jesus Loves the Little Children” have been changed.

7AM (4):


-         Street Audio: Part 2 - Producer Ken hit the streets to speak with the Communist party fighting for $15/hr.

-         Audio: Milton Friedman – The world runs on individuals chasing their dreams

8AM (1):


-         Street Audio: Part 3 - Producer Ken hit the streets to speak with the Communist party fighting for $15/hr.

-         There’s a legitimate reason for the term “useful idiot”

-         Calls – George wants to move election day to April 16th

-         Emails – Wes is listening all the way from India.

-         We live in a nation of children; all most people want is to have a political version of their Mommy and Daddy.


8AM (2):


-         A Mexican town is offering tourists the ‘thrill’ of a border crossing reenactment.

-         We’re told that there’s an operational ISIS training camp just miles from the US-Mexico border.

-         Parody: Want to party like Pit Bull and eat tacos all day? Join the ISIS/MS-13 employee exchange program.

-         Calls

 

8AM (3):

 

-         5 Random Facts

-         A Florida man went to an emergency room demanding someone give him an enema.

-         Aaron Hernandez will be going to prison just 3 miles from the field that he made his $44 million.

-         Taser Report

 

8AM (4):

 

**

-         A condom company has made a new female condom that guarantees women an orgasm every time.

-         Street Audio: Part 4 - Producer Ken hit the streets to speak with the Communist party fighting for $15/hr.

 

9AM (1):

 

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         Dead singer Selena will be going back on tour… albeit in hologram form.

 

9AM (2):

 

-         Fox News went live with the Aaron Hernandez trial yesterday.

-         Parody: Play Grand Theft Auto NFL edition

-         Mortal Combat ‘X’ is out this week. The game contains the first gay gaming character.

-         Police in Birmingham, AL got a note about a suspicious package. After sending over a bomb robot the team discovered it was simply an Easter egg.

-         Would you guess who paid for Hillary Clinton’s ‘Scooby’ van? Turns out that you did.

-         If Hillary isn’t a government official, why are tax payers responsible for paying for her limousine?

 

9AM (3):

 

-         Why does food taste better when it’s made by someone else? Maybe it has to do with our racist genetics…

-         Jim Morrison was probably a time traveler. After all, he predicted the advent of rap music.

-         Word to the unwise: Don’t light a cigarette in your car after cleaning your seats with rubbing alcohol.

-         Have you ever put your foot in a Croc?

 

9AM (4):

 

-         Every once in a while there’s an ass that needs to be smacked.

-         If Hillary Clinton’s ass was spanked more in her college days, would she still be the bitch she is now?

-         The price is right for the W&J app – it’s free!

 


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