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April 9th, 2015
Today on WJ

5AM (1):

-         In the news this morning: Madonna, a hologram of Selena Gomez, and all the stuff we don’t care about.

-         Joan Jett has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. To make things worse, Miley Cyrus opened the ceremony for her.

5AM (2):

-         If you wanted to become the Heavy Weight Champion of the world, who would you fight these days?

-         There used to be a time when every kid knew who the Heavy Weight Champ was.

-         Remember, the Walton & Johnson show is your definitive source for everything Masters-related.

-         It took the Jury 11.5 hours to decide if the Boston Bomber was guilty. Does that disturb anyone?

-         Rand Paul is outside of the Bacon-wrapped shrimp club.


6AM (1):

-         This day in history

-         A strip club owner in Portland is facing Federal prostitution charges after agents found out that monies that were withdrawn from his ATM were used in prostitution cases. How’s that for fair?

6AM (2):

-         You may not have known it, but we are your official Masters Leader Board station. Hell, we didn’t even know it.

-         Have you tried the Arkansas rule during golf? The rule says that if you ‘muff’ a shot, you have to play with your dong out for the rest of the hole.

6AM (3):

-         According to some ‘journalists,’ Ted Cruz can’t be President because he signed up for Obamacare.

-         Audio: Rand Paul manhandled a liberal journalist that couldn’t compose a cohesive question?

6AM (4):

-         Parody: Bill Cosby has a few tax tips for you.

-         How long before the first female NFL referee makes a call you don’t agree with?

-         Barry Manilow has decided to marry his long-time partner, Gary.

-         It’s no surprise to anyone that Barry Manilow is gay.


7AM (1)

-         We have a list of trivial reasons that Rand Paul shouldn’t be President just like the liberals.

-         Guest: John Stossel

-         Who has the better moustache: John Stossel or Alex Trebek?

7AM (2):

-         Parody: Which DirecTV Rob Lowe do you like best?

-         Comcast has filed a complaint with a national advertising agency over comments that competitor DirecTV made about the superior quality of their signal.

7AM (3):

-         Brietbart has received information that a Russian spy has crossed the border. The White House, of course, has now responded to the claims.

-         Parody: What does Putin think about the claim that there is a Russian Spy in the US?

7AM (4):

-         Parody: What if people communicated the way they do in emails?

-         Is it true that creep guys always have creepy daughters?

-         Sofia Vergara claims that her boobs are real.

-         According to a study, women don’t want to hear what you think; they want to know what they think. If you can predict what they’re thinking then you’ve got it made.

-         Sources say that Cher is on her last leg.


8AM (1):

-         Audio: An Irish bodybuilder tore the quadriceps off his knees in a weight lifting accident.

-         If Curt Cobain were alive today would he be playing hick hop?

-         Emails

-         5 Random Facts

-         Grocery stores are recalling Sabra hummus due to incidences of Listeria.

8AM (2):

-         Audio: Lewis Black has got it right – Most college campuses in America are simply wastelands.

-         America used to be based on the individual. Now, however, it’s all about the collective.

8AM (3):

-         Audio: Nine-year-old Florida girl calls out inconsistencies in standardized testing in cogent speech

-         This date in history

-         Emails – Who watches live TV anymore?

8AM (4):

-         Disgusting news: The White House has its first ever transgender bathroom.


9AM (1):

-         Celebrity Birthdays


9AM (2):

-         Fox News dwarfs other news networks

-         A scandal involving gay orgies is surrounding the Vatican.

-         A remake of the film She’s all That is in the works. This is a sure sign that the industry is completely out of ideas.

-         75 percent of the audience of Furious 7 has been non-white thus far.

-         What exactly is Vin Diesel? Italian? Ethnic?

-         The show Lip Sync Battle is back on TV tonight.

-         Jokes, by their very nature, are intended to be hurtful to some sectors of society.

9AM (3):

-         Remember that the W&J show is your definitive source for all things Masters.

9AM (4):

-         Boy George is in the news speaking out about the recent gay cake scandal.

-         A new survey revealed that one in five people purchase food for their dog at the drive thru.

-         Yesterday Apple released a new set of Emojis. Gingers are upset due to the fact that red-haired people are not featured in the release.

-         The White House has installed its first ‘gender-neutral’ bathroom.




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About sharp pricks - 2015-05-20
by J.C.

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