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March 27th, 2015
Today on WJ

5AM (1):

-         Barack has made the act of being a lying smartass cool in the White House.

-         A Mandeville woman claims that a local cop raped and impregnated her. Turns out the story was a lie to cover up an affair from her husband.

5AM (2):

-         According to the weather girl, Houstonians should “dress in layers today”

-         According to surveys, people don’t like to hear complaining on the radio.

-         There used to be lists of the most beautiful women in the world. Now, that phrase has been supplanted by the most “outstanding” women. Unsurprisingly, Kim Kardashian topped the list.

6AM (1):

-         It could be that in the very near future we will have a nuclear strike against Israel.

-         The show Coach will be coming back to television for the first time since 1997.

6AM (2):

-         According to the liberals, every almost every destructive weather event is cause by man-induced global warming.

-         A sushi restaurant in NYC blew up yesterday.

6AM (3):

-         A lot of states in the Midwest don’t seem to have a lot of pride.

-         March Madness is wearing thin on us.

6AM (4):

-         More information is being released about the co-pilot of the Germanwings flight.

7AM (1)

-         News organizations love to use the phrase “breaking news”

-         Irony alert: We’re advised not to judge Muslims on the actions of a few ‘radicals.’ Conversely, gun owners are judged the opposite way; the basis is predicated on the actions of the radical minority.

-         Calls

7AM (2):

-         Parody: Barack thinks Bowe Bergdahl is innocent. Bergdahl 2016!

-         If you think that Google has nothing on you, you’d be sadly mistaken.

7AM (3):

-         According to the editor of Ebony magazine, country music is the kind of music to kill Muslims by.

-         Have you downloaded the W&J app yet? Even Billy Graham has it!

-         Parody: Ask a gangster featuring Willie D

7AM (4):

-         Parody: Today is informally known as ‘Viagra Day’

-         The best way to test if your teenage daughter has seen a penis is to reach for her phone and see how fast she snaps it away from you.

-         Taser Report – Today’s report is one of the few we’ve reported on that features a dog, not a human

8AM (1):

-         Parody: How did Barack’s father act when he was born? Here’s a hint: “That baby ain’t black enough!”

-         Audio: A doctor-turned-lobbyist claims that a Monsanto weed killer is safe enough to drink. He refused to drink it when asked, however.

-         A breakthrough in science allows one to inject a chemical into their eyes to give them instant night visions.

8AM (2):

-         Senate minority leader Harry Reid has just announced that he will retire after this term. Chances are that he’ll die before the end of his term.

-         When Annise Parker rides her bike does she hurt her balls?

-         Calls

8AM (3):

-         Disturbing: A Tennessee boy was forced to shave his military-style haircut that was intended to honor his veteran brother. Ironically the school itself, Bobby Ray Elementary, is named after a veteran in the first place.

8AM (4):

-         Calls

-         Houston doesn’t even have a viable train system.

-         This day in history

-         Audio: “Join us” – The NRA

9AM (1):

-         John found a great way to wake up easier in the morning – use white noise. Mr. Eaux wants to know if there’s an option for black noise, however.

-         Audio: Drop that ass for Obama!

-         Celebrity birthdays

-         The patent for the urinal was granted on this day in 1866

9AM (2):

-         Audio: Is the guy in this song the singer in the Hillary song too?

-         A Canadian boy raised money to purchase a 17-year-old horse that was slated to be killed.

-         The move Get Hard will premiere over the weekend. It’s a Will Ferrell movie, not a porno.

9AM (3):

-         When Bowe Bergdahl left for the enemy camp, his father probably let the terrorists know that he was coming. After all, he speaks the language.

-         Parody: Barack for Bowe Bergdahl, 2016!

-         Coke was the most popular beverage of choice in America last year. Previously, the title has been held by the ‘diet’ version of the drink. Do people not care anymore or have they realized that diet drinks have no benefits?

-         Believe it or not, some politicians spent time debating on whether or not a law could be passed allowing companies to make it mandatory that employees accept their boss’s friend request on Facebook.

-         Emails – Valerie wants to know what to do about the guy she’s dating.

9AM (4):

-         Most of the people that you want to control using gun control laws can’t be controlled. The law-abiding citizens are the ones that end up suffering.

-         How often does a pit bull do something heartwarming?

 

 

 


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