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March 11th, 2015
Today on WJ

5AM (1):

-         The reason that Barack and other politicians have Blackberry’s is because they’re more secure. Hillary, however, would have you think that she uses one strictly for convenience.

-         We’re constantly told how brilliant Hillary Clinton is. For the life of us we just can’t see her genius.

5AM (2):

-         How bad would a haircut have to be to justify destroying the place?

-         Guys: The male topless selfie thing has been done. We DON’T want to see them.

6AM (1):

-         If you can’t get yourself a 14-year-old hooker, you’re probably in Puerto Rico.

-         What’s the strangest person you’ve ever been forced to sit next to on a flight?

-         Sports guys are the worst kind of people to get stuck next to.

-         It might be time to replace Andrew Jackson on the 20 dollar bill. How about a woman?

6AM (2):

-         There’s a non-profit group called “Women on Twenties.” The group is aimed at getting the face of the twenty-dollar bill, Andrew Jackson, replaced with a woman. Sadly, Barbara Jordan wants her mug on the bill.

-         Hillary Clinton wants you to know that her private email server was only used for sending love letters to Bill and perhaps storing yoga positions.


6AM (3):

-         A guy in Florida started a Snapchat radio show.

-         You’re considered a freak if you don’t have a tattoo these days.

-         Is Johnny Depp dead? Sadly, the actor was injured in Australia over the weekend and is on his way back to the US for emergency surgery.

-         Will you be preordering the Apple Watch?

-         Calls – How often does a fight break out at Chuck-e-Cheese’s?

6AM (4):

-         Audio: According to Hillary Clinton, the infrastructure of the email system she’s been using was put in place during Bill’s presidency.

7AM (1)

-         Much to the surprise of Billy Ed, Producer Ken has been working on a documentary on Billy Ed’s life behind the microphone.

-         Audio: Part 1 of the Billy Ed documentary “Life Behind the Microphone”

7AM (2):


-         NFL report

-         It’s natural for pit bulls to show their love by tearing off a piece of skin every now and then.

-         Audio: Part 2 of the Billy Ed documentary “Life Behind the Microphone”


7AM (3):


-         Taylor Swift is insuring her legs for $40 million.

-         Parody: Try a more balanced approach when raising your kids; it’ll ensure they don’t turn out to be brats!

-         If more people were armed, crime rates would plummet.

-         This day in history

7AM (4):

-         A dog’s sense of smell is so good that they can probably smell what you had for dinner three weeks ago.

-         Audio: Part 3 of the Billy Ed documentary “Life Behind the Microphone”

-         The great thing about living in Utah is having the ability to marry as many women as possible.

-         Firing squads may be coming back in the state of Utah.

-         5 Random Facts

8AM (1):

-         Audio: Michael Bolton responds to lines in Office Space

-         According to reports, Hillary Clinton is the only Secretary of State to conduct her business using a personal email address.

-         An Australian man opened up a box of Corn Flakes the other day only to find a 2-meter long python.

-         Calls – Nurse Mary is retiring today after 40 years of helping people to become a beekeeper

8AM (2):

-         Audio: Pat Robertson on the contagion of the ‘gay disease’

-         Did the Falcons get rid of that old white-haired coach? No one liked the guy anyways…

-         This day in history

8AM (3):

-         Audio: Ghostbusters mash up

-         An Indonesian woman has decided to list her house on the market with her included in the offer.

-         43 years ago today, Marlon Brando refused to accept his Oscar for his work in The Godfather

-         Have you ever noticed how hot the Land-o-Lakes butter chick is?

8AM (4):

-         Zoolander is making a comeback with a sequel to the now-15-year-old film.

 

 

9AM (1):

-         Audio: Let’s spend one minute inside a woman’s head

-         Massive layoffs at Viacom and MTV have taken place

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         How long will the KISS ‘farewell’ tours continue?

-         Tim Burton will be directing a remake of the animated classic Dumbo.

-         A federal jury has awarded the kids of Marvin Gay $7 million in a claim that Robin Thicke ripped off one of his songs.

9AM (2):

-         The guy that pays $400 for the new Apple watch probably hasn’t been laid in 3 years.

9AM (3):

-         Today’s lesson in irony: The park service doesn’t encourage feeding of the animals, as they might become dependent on handouts. Sound familiar?

-         A Christian shelter in Alaska has been inappropriately named “The Glory Hole”

-         Houston has some of the worst roads in the nation. The potholes can nearly snap a wheel off.

9AM (4):

-         Audio: Hillary/Bill mash up

-         Don’t try this at home: Swallowing a penny will NOT allow you to pass a breathalyzer.

-         Good news: She Jack is hot on the trail of a new case of injustice

 


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