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March 10th, 2015
Today on WJ

5AM (1):

-         If there were an exclusive sponsor of the Walton & Johnson show, who would it be? How about ‘Doodleberry Farms?’

-         What are the chances that your vote doesn’t really count at the poll?

-         Every media outlet was covering the racist fraternity rant at Oklahoma University yesterday, labeling it “Breaking news.” How long can news actually be considered breaking?

5AM (2):

-         All Apple employees were on high alert for the announcement of the Apple Watch yesterday. Will it be a flop?

6AM (1):

-         How much of a drug addict do you have to be to mistakenly snort someone’s ashes instead of cocaine?

-         A Mark Wahlberg movie will start production over the summer aimed at featuring real life oil workers.

6AM (2):

-         How long will the line be at your average Apple store when the new watch arrives?

-         Audio: There used to be a time when men knew how to supervise women. Today we feature a three-part-series on the most effective way to supervise women in a work environment.

-         How would you feel if your girl loved a camera more than she loved you?

6AM (3):

-         5 Random Facts

-         Audio: Racist OU Fraternity chant

-         The scary part of the racist chant at OU is that the kids knew they were being filmed. This begs the question: Why would any of the participants be surprised that they got caught?

6AM (4):

**

-         Audio: Part 2 of “How to Supervise a Woman”

-         According to a study, 13 percent of Americans claims to be vegetarians.

7AM (1)

-         If your girl is willing to help you light your farts on fire, she’s a keeper!

-         A Florida man found out the hard way that it’s not a good idea to light your farts on fire.

-         If McDonald’s spent more money on their food rather than advertising, would business be better?

-         Parody: The Chad-Meister wants to set the record straight for the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity.

7AM (2):

-         Is John Travolta gay?

-         Audio: Part 3 of “How to Supervise a Woman”

7AM (3):

-         According to Bill Cosby, his career is far from over.

-         Taser Report

-         Turns out that acid reflux can be more harmful than you think.

-         Audio: Archival audio of Jimi Hendrix jamming with Curtis Knight and the Squires has been released.

7AM (4):

-         Guest: Kennedy – MTV VJ turned Libertarian

8AM (1):

-         Audio: Bette Midler recorded a parody song using just the Tweets of Kim Kardashian

-         Audio: In two weeks, how many times was the word “amazing” used on The Bachelor?

-         Remember, everything TV tells you is a lie! Conversely, radio is where the truth is.

-         Parody: Facebook wants to offer you an apology for their racially and fat insensitive emojis.

8AM (2):

-         The number 75 is celebrating the birthday of Chuck Norris today. Chuck doesn’t celebrate birthdays; birthdays celebrate Chuck.

-         Are boner pills powered by the sweat of Chuck Norris?

-         There’s a stark contrast between the shelf life of regular bread and commercial bread. The commercially-baked bread always lasts much longer on the shelf.

-         Parody: Barack would have never ordered Mr. Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin wall. It would have simply offended too many people.

8AM (3):

-         Rumor has it that there used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but no one ever crossed it.

-         Emails – Karen wants to know why the equal rights and gay activists don’t protest the inequalities in Muslim culture.

8AM (4):

-         Parody: What if juice bars were operated like your run-of-the-mill strip club?

-         Many people aren’t aware that a lot of strippers pay to ‘perform’ in strip clubs.

-         How long until we start printing 3D people?

9AM (1):

-         Audio: Jim Gaffigan has a different spin on winter

-         Can you ever tell too many Chuck Norris jokes?

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         8 years ago today comedian Richard Jenny committed suicide

9AM (2):

-         Who’d of thought that tiger meat is a tasty delicacy?

-         This day in history: Caesar and his posse crossed the Rubicon

9AM (3):

-         $2.3 Million won’t buy you a mansion in LA. David Hasselhoff wants to sell you his for that price, however.

-         Bill Cosby may be taking his own drugs. His comedy career is far from over according to him.

-         Hillary Clinton has not been taking question on her recent email scandal.

9AM (4):

-         According to a study, depression, car accidents and a whole host of other deleterious side effects are a consequence of Daylight Saving Time.

-         Used to be that kids could walk everywhere. Nowadays kids can’t go anywhere without the threat of being kidnapped and molested.

-         Remote controls and comforters are by far the most germ-laden items in hotel rooms.

 


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