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March 4th, 2015
TODAY ON WJ

5AM (1):

-         Baton Rouge has been ranked as one of the laziest cities in America. The study was based on the number of hours citizens work per week as well as the number of hours of sleep each person gets per night.

-         Did you watch the Netanyahu speech last night?

-         The most salient deduction that most people probably took away from Netanyahu’s speech last night is that HE’s the one that should be the leader of America, not Barack.

5AM (2):

-         Need a laugh? Think about Kanye West lecturing at Oxford University.

-         Nancy Pelosi was nearly in tears during Netanyahu’s speech last night. According to her, he “insulted the intelligence of the US.”

-         This day in history – 138 years ago today the microphone was invented.

-         A new robotic device can now tell you when you need to poop.

6AM (1):

-         Audio: Have you heard some of the special music made for cats?

-         Emails: According former listener Patti, the guy’s lack of knowledge on modern liquor laws is inexcusable and has caused her to stop listening to the show.

6AM (2):

-         People these days don’t want real news; they just want something and they want it fast.

-         In the modern office building, meetings often occur in the hallways.

6AM (3):

-         107 years ago today, the New York school board banned the act of whipping school kids. Maybe that’s part of the problem with kids today…

-         Some people can remember the days when our politicians valued the Constitution.

-         Adrian Peterson is meeting up with some of the Minnesota Vikings in Houston today.

-         Starbucks may soon be producing documentaries.

6AM (4):

-         Parody: This portion of the show brought to you by “Va-breeze”

-         Have you heard of lie-agra?

-         Billy Gibbons was once a member of the band “Moving Sidewalks.” The band’s original record is now being re-released.

-         Paula Deen has a new book coming out. It’s safe to say there’s probably no reference to anything ‘blackened’ in the book.


7AM (1)

-         A new reality show called “The Hulk” features pit bulls interacting with children in a family environment. According to the show, it’s all about how you raise the dogs.

-         Remember the stink palm? It’s too bad we’ll never get to stink palm Barack.

-         The next time you shake someone’s hand, check to see if they reach up to touch their face shortly afterward.

-         Ted Cruz handles the ‘gotcha’ questions very well.

-         The Supreme Court is likely to soon rule that states cannot ban gay marriage.

7AM (2):

-         Oprah just laid a mass of people from her company Harpo Productions.

-         5 Random Facts

-         The IRS thinks they have the power to go in to your bank account and extract the money they think they deserve.

7AM (3):

-         Parody: Microsoft scammers don’t like when you’re on to them.

-         Taser report

-         Audio: Remember the middle-school kid that spoke out against Barack Obama? His Facebook account has been ‘suspended’ for posting the video on his page. Does anyone know what freedom of speech is?

7AM (4):

-         We’re not saying you should beat your kids, but they would all benefit from a good smack every now and then.

-         Audio: There has never been a better argument in favor of corporal punishment than this kids’ rant against the exclusion of the funnies from a newspaper.

-         Emails: Would you go to a toga party if it ensured you would get some poon?

-         According to a survey, only 14 percent of people go to a bar on St. Patty’s day.

8AM (1):

-         Parody: If I was Obama

-         You’d be hard pressed not to confuse Barack with the leader of the Muslim brotherhood.

-         Parody: Let’s spend one minute inside a woman’s head.

-         Baton Rouge has been identified as the second laziest city in America. Question is: why? San Bernardino, California takes first place for the laziest. Conversely, the hardest working cities lie in Alaska, Texas and Wyoming.

8AM (2):

-         Audio: Lucas Brothers

-         Turns out that human being’s fear of wild animals is far more irrational than it should be.

-         Should driver’s ed be taught as a team sport?

8AM (3):

-         Calls

-         Obama is having a rare ‘no appearance’ day today. It’s only 1 of the 150 no appearance days he’s had since entering the office.

-         A list of the most offensive foods to eat in the office has been compiled. Topping the list is tuna.

8AM (4):

 

-         80 percent of the Muslims in Europe live off welfare. Is this a sign of what’s to come?

-         If Muslims were banned from the country, how different would our country be? It’s important to note that ‘Muslim’ is not a religion; it’s a way of life.

 

9AM (1):

-         Border patrol signs seem to be intended more for Americans trying to enter Mexico, not Mexicans entering America.

-         Who knew that former Secretary of State was running her own email server out of her home. This allowed her to hide behind the guise of ‘privacy.’ In other words, she orchestrated the crimes she planned to commit long before she committed them.

-         Celebrity Birthdays

9AM (2):

-         Calls

-         Politicians love to refer to the act of taking and spending your money as ‘investing’

9AM (3):

-         Audio: Marie Harf on Hillary’s private email server

-         Calls – Listener Mike wants his right to vote back if illegals can vote too.

 

9AM (4):

-         Unfortunately Dr. Ben Carson has dug his own grave by claiming that being gay is a choice.

-         Audio: A film on how to avoid prison rape has been made by former inmates.

-         The investigation of the Buddy Holly plane crash may soon be reopened.

-         A global study has been conducted seeking to reveal the average size of penises across the globe.

-         How will Net Neutrality affect porn?

 

 

 


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