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March 3rd, 2015
Today on WJ

5AM (1):

-         It sure would be great to be evil, but we might be too lazy to handle a commitment like that.

-         Obama won’t accept an honorary Muslim; you’re either all in or all out.

5AM (2):

-         Last week a man walked around LA with a fake Oscar getting free things like Gatorade and condoms.

-         If cops can’t subdue an unarmed hobo without emptying their gun into him, a bigger issue is at hand.

6AM (1):

-         Two people tried to breech the security of the White House yesterday.

-         Snap Chat is reportedly worth over $19 billion. How are they making all this money when the app has no ads?

6AM (2):

-         Audio: A ‘special agent’ thinks that animals may change their behavior for the worse if marijuana becomes pervasive in society.

-         Parody: Have you tried pot-infused cereal?

-         Andre Johnson won’t retire a Texan after all.

6AM (3):

-         Have you seen the lineup for the new season of Sharknado?

-         Calls – If you eat a stoned rabbit, will you yourself become stoned?

-         Where does Bob McNair come in on the billionaire list?

6AM (4):

-         Guest: Todd Kercheval – Wants to change liquor laws on Sunday

7AM (1)

-         Who else couldn’t make it to the Leonard Nemoy funeral this weekend? Turns out that the Westboro Baptist church had plans to attend, however they never knew where the precession would be held.

-         Have you checked out the new character on House of Cards?

-         Parody: What does Vladimir Putin do if he needs a girlfriend?

7AM (2):

-         Parody: What happens when you call the social security office?

-         Parody: Dr. Cosby wants to end winter as well… of course, this includes the dispensing of chloroform.

7AM (3):

-         Parody: Police in Cedar Hill recorded a spoof of Matthew Mcconaughey’s Lincoln commercial.

-         Taser Report

7AM (4):

-         Parody: Welcome to March. What all is the month know for?

8AM (1):

-         Judge Judy just signed her new contract through 2020 for $45 million/year.

-         What does the black police officer on Judge Judy get paid?

-         Where will Andre Johnson wind up next?

-         JJ Watt has a cabin out in the middle of nowhere. Turns out it’s much more magnificent than the media has portrayed.

-         What would happen if everyone stopped attending Texans games? The might end up like the Oilers…

8AM (2):

-         This day in history: 13 boxes of Jell-O are sold every second.

-         Have you checked out the girls on The Bachelor?

8AM (3):

-         Someone stole Steve Francis’ chain at a rap club.

-         Hillary Clinton did not have an official email address the entire time she was Secretary of State.

-         Was a legally blind man responsible for perusing the contents of Lois Lerner’s emails?

-         If your sister baked you a penis cake, would you have second thoughts about your relationship?

8AM (4):

-         What is Barack up to these days? According to reports, banning ammunition for AR-15 is high on his to-do list.

9AM (1):

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         Who has a home phone anymore? Used to be that everyone had hard-wired phones; something that kids today can’t grasp.

9AM (2):

-         There’s a new mantra referred to as “RISE UP” that’s aimed at helping people wake up more efficiently in the morning.

-         Emails

-         Bill Cosby sure knows what “Funky Cold Medina” is; it’s a date rape drug!

-         If the day comes when men in black suits with guns come to get us, should we put up a fight or just go with the flow?

-         This day in history: Rodney King was beaten in the streets of LA. If something like this happened in current times, he probably would’ve been shot.

-         According to reports, Sylvester Stallone broke up a fight on the set of the new Rocky film.

-         For those of you looking at a career in Hollywood, examine the career of Clint Eastwood.

9AM (3):

-         5 Random Facts

-         Not until Barack came around did Americans feel like foreigners in their own country.

9AM (4):

-         What’s troubling with this headline: “Kanye West addresses Oxford University” – Why in the world is he allowed to speak in public, much less at Oxford University?



Theeb - 2015-10-13
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by Theeb

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