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March 2nd, 2015
Today ON WJ

5AM (1):

-         Many are calling William Shatner ‘Captain Jerk’ because he didn’t attend Leonard Nemoy’s funeral.

5AM (2):

-         We put Barack in office to do a job, but he’s not doing the job he needs to do.

6AM (1):

-         William Shatner is under fire for ‘tweeting’ his thoughts on the death of Leonard Nemoy.

-         This weekend members of a group were discussing the secession of Texas when a swarm of FBI agents raided the meeting in Bryan/College Station.

-         Michelle Rodriguez, a proud Latina, wants to bring more attention to minority actors in Hollywood.

-         Bobby Jindall is all talk and no action.

6AM (2):

-         Today is Texas Independence day; how will you celebrate?

-         The death of Leonard Nemoy has affected many people including Barack Obama. Who would’ve thought?

6AM (3):

-         Parody: What does Spock say?

-         Why didn’t they work Robin Williams into the cast of Star Trek? Seems like a good fit.

-         Eddie Money turns 66 today… No one predicted that he would live this long. On the other hand, Bon Jovi looks pretty good for his age.

6AM (4):

-         Everyone is getting away with murder these days since Bill Clinton started redefining words.

-         February has been one of the coldest months in history.

-         Only one killed and three wounded in Chicago over the weekend.

7AM (1)

-         Someone vandalized the gravesite of ‘Dimebag Darrel’

-         Does Faith Hill have a secret she’s not telling the world?

-         Facebook has announced that they now have over 50 gender options for users. Also, a ‘fill-in-the-blank’ option is now available.

-         In California, the welfare offices are so clogged up with illegals that the average wait time is on the order of several hours.

7AM (2):

-         A 30 minute American Airlines flight from DFW to Oklahoma City turned into the stuff of nightmares when passengers wound up trapped on the tarmac for 9 hours because of ice and mechanical problems. Some passengers cracked open the liquor cart and began drinking to pass the time.

7AM (3):

-         5 Random Facts

-         The most popular kind of lingerie in all 50 states is sweat pants.

-         Taco Bell is testing a new product: Donut holes encrusted with Captain Crunch. Perhaps Colorado would serve as a good testing ground…

-         Emails

7AM (4):

-         A few things you didn’t know about Star Trek

-         Why weren’t there any Latino members on the Enterprise in Star Trek?

8AM (1):

-         If enough celebrities get behind their hatred for winter, it might be possible to eliminate it all together.

-         Thank God we have weather people to tell us how to dress for the cold.

-         Who would’ve predicted that American Sniper would stay in theaters for so long?

8AM (2):

-         How long will it take before Americans experience the full effect of Net Neutrality?

-         Parody: How will Net Neutrality affect ISPs?

-         We’re celebrating Texas Independence day by eating Whataburger breakfast complete with white gravy.

8AM (3):

-         Did you catch Masterpiece Theater last night?

-         If you go to vandalize a bridge with the words “Hail Satin”, be sure you know how to spell the Satan correctly.

8AM (4):

-         Audio: Leonard Nemoy on how the Vulcan neck grip came about.

-         Who would’ve thought that a pile of sticks in the passenger seat could let you get away with driving in the fast lane for several months?

-         Emails – Is ‘buffering’ good practice during sex?

-         We all know what twerking is, but you can now create your own song using sound clips from the slapping cheeks of a twerking butt.

9AM (1):

-         It’s disturbing for young people these days when they hear music they can’t twerk to.

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         What was Desi Arnaz’s connection to Star Trek?

-         It’s hurtful to Mexicans to bring up the topic of Texas’ independence.

-         This day in history

9AM (2):

-         Leonard Nemoy passed away Friday morning at the age of 83.

9AM (3):

-         A man in Florida found out the hard way how not to conceal contraband. 

-         The Houston Rodeo has become everything BUT a rodeo.

-         If Donald Trump runs in the 2016 presidential race he will no doubt be the most luxurious and expensive candidate in history.

9AM (4):

-         TIME magazine sure knows how to spot a good man of the year candidate. After all, Castro has made the list in the past.

-         The Eagles had to briefly postpone a concert in Australia over the weekend due to 86 mph wind.

-         Mick Jagger must weigh about 65 pounds these days. He’s just a corpse with skin hanging off.



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by Eva

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