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February 20th, 2015
Today on W&J

5AM (1):

-         Eyebrows are being raised after the Clintons raised a significant amount of money that turned out to be from the Middle East.

-         As rich people, the Clintons don’t have to spend their money on much of anything; most of it is simply donated to them.

-         Inconvenient truth: Hillary Clinton spent over $8 million on traveling alone last year, all under the guise of her foundation.

-         According to Barack, Islam has been “woven into the fabric of America” since the establishment of the country.

5AM (2):

-         Hot Tub Time Machine hits theaters this weekend.

-         Thomas Jefferson read the Koran just like Barack, but came away with different conclusions.

6AM (1):

-         Do you like escalators or elevators better?

-         The thing about escalators in America is that people don’t actually walk on them; they ride them.

-         Snow storms are now being named by meteorologists.

6AM (2):

-         Have you heard of the term “DUFF?”

-         The Department of Homeland Security believes that domestic terrorism is more dangerous than foreign terrorism.

6AM (3):

-         And now, a lesson in history.

-         Most Americans would trade Obama for Putin any day of the week.

-         It’s sobering that the leader of Jordan, an Arab country, is more of a badass than our President could ever hope to be.

6AM (4):

-         How long before you can buy furry Russian hats on the streets of America?

-         Big news: Texas’ first lesbian couple was married in Austin yesterday.

7AM (1)

-         Parody: Weather system “Pandora” sounds like a naughty arctic blast

-         Does Bill Cosby still talk the same when he isn’t on camera?

-         Remember the big actress “Precious?” According to reports, she’s become difficult to work with since becoming famous.

7AM (2):

-         Audio: NRA commercial

-         Matel is coming out with a new Barbie.

7AM (3):

-         5 Random Facts

-         Parody: What would happen if Sharia law was brought to Texas?

-         This day in history

-         How different would the US be if we allowed people the right to duel again?

7AM (4):

-         Audio: A viral video has surfaced depicting a crying stripper performing a webcam show.

-         Taser Report

8AM (1):

-         Parody: Turns out that Waffle House isn’t big on playing radio contests.

8AM (2):

-         In the world of strip clubs, strippers always have two names: their stage name and the one they claim is real.

-         Tragedy in India – This morning’s tragedy may not be worthy of music.

-         Stripper glitter is a special kind of glitter that you can only get at a stripping store.

8AM (3):

-         Emails – Listener Chris needs to place his dog, Peanut, one of the first canine 10 percenters.

-         The Houston Rodeo kicks off on Sunday night with the “Best Bikes” competition.

-         Would Jazz Fest ever consider having a rodeo at the same time the festival is going on?

8AM (4):

-         We don’t have a problem with Big D and Bubba, but they know their place in the ratings.

9AM (1):

-         Parody: Does your kid get distracted easily? Try Prolapse.

-         Have you ever asked your doctor if a medication is right for you?

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         Surprisingly, the media isn’t taking the arrest of Vanilla Ice very seriously.

-         Has anyone ever done a mash up with Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” and Beck’s “Two Turntables and a Microphone?”

9AM (2):

-         According to Barack, Islam has been “woven into the very foundation of this country” since day one.

-         Parody: Are you a down-on-your-luck terrorist? Try Jobs for Jihadis!

-         ISIS has discovered that there’s big money in harvesting organs from the Christians they kill. Barack still thinks that we should give them jobs, however.

-         ISIS will kill any doctor that refuses to harvest organs from Christians they murdered.

-         Calls

-         Baton Rouge police were summoned to an address after a call came in reporting that a man punched out a 2-year-old child.

9AM (3):

-         Do cops even come to career day anymore?

-         The creepiness of Joe Biden is unrivaled

-         Calls

9AM (4):

-         How many Vietnamese or Samoan football players have there been?

-         Assignment for the weekend: Those that don’t have the W&J app, what are you waiting for?

 


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