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February 3rd, 2015
Today on W&J

5AM (1):

-         Punxsutawney Phil bit the politician that raised him out of his cage yesterday.   

-         For the first time in the history of man, a telemarketer did something good.

5AM (2):

-         Hillary Clinton is being forced to testify about Benghazi on Capitol Hill. Of course, this doesn’t mean she has to tell the truth.

-         A group of researchers decided to confiscate the cell phones of several teenagers and chart the psychological results. The results were as one would suspect.

6AM (1):

-         Controversy has stuck on the show: Yesterday we wondered who “Bruce” was in ELO’s “Don’t bring me Down.” Turns out that the original recording featured a German word. After much confusion, however, the band re-recorded the song using the name “Bruce.”

-         Ratings for urban radio stations are measured using an affirmative-action system.

-         We still don’t know why Whitney Houston’s daughter was found bobbing in the bathtub.

-         Could it be that Johnny Manzeil is in rehab for something other than drugs?

6AM (2):

-         Warren Sapp has been arrested for soliciting a prostitute as well as assault.

6AM (3):

-         How many years has it been since Entourage has been on?

-         The Bachelor is a terrible show and last night’s episode was no exception.

6AM (4):

-         Who knew that Walton & Johnson were in the Urban Dictionary?

-         Audio: Mike Jones has a blazing white lawyer and wants you to know about it.

-         Parody: Do like Juvenile did and call attorney Seth

7AM (1)

-         This day in history: JP Richardson aka”The Big Bopper” died in a plane crash with Buddy Holly and Ritchie Valens.

7AM (2):

-         It’s settled science: Black people DIDN’T invent twerking. Turns out it was Granny.

-         According to the votes in an online poll, Rick Perry did not come in first place in the pre-election votes.  

7AM (3):

-         Why are birthday cards so expensive?

-         What exactly is dolphin sex? One man knows all too well and is now writing a book about it.

-         Taser Report

7AM (4):

-         The only people that can afford the ‘affordable health care act’ are the people that can’t actually pay for it.

8AM (1):

-         Have you ever had Vietnamese coffee?

-         Three Chinese contractors walk in to a bar. Sounds like a joke right?

8AM (2):

-         Audio: Randy Quaid has lost his marbles. According to Randy, Rupert Murdoch and Warner Brothers have screwed him so much that he’s had to flee to Canada. The video depicts an unkempt looking Quaid having sex with his wife, who is wearing a mask of Murdoch’s face.

-         Meanwhile in Wyoming, after 40 years as a cop a man decided to retire because of a new dress code being introduced by the force. The man was told that he can no longer wear his cowboy hat and boots with his uniform.

-         Calls – Protesters of the Keystone Pipeline are quick to forget that they drove their cars to the protest, burning fossil fuels on the way.

8AM (3):

-         Parody: Who would’ve guessed that tax subsidies can fund gender reassignment surgery for illegal aliens?

-         The Frito Bandito is clearly offensive and racially insensitive.

-         When will the Super Bowl come back to Houston? Turns out that Houston will host the game in just two years.

-         Songs about cities are always a hit.

-         Rumor has it that the next flavor of Oreos will be s’mores flavor.

-         Global warming has essentially become a religion.

8AM (4):

 

-         How will you celebrate Black History Month?

-         We’ll bet that Harriet Tubman never guessed that her honor would one day be celebrated by people putting $1000 rims on a $500 car.

-         Why is it that Australian chicks can talk like an American and we usually never know? Conversely, when an American does an Australian dialect, it’s always terrible!

-         Has Bruce Willis ever thought about playing Vin Diesel’s father in a film?

9AM (1):

-         The McDonald’s campaign to urge people to do an act of kindness is stupid.

-         Parody: What if the McDonald’s campaign and the Nation Wide insurance commercial were combined?

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         Will Russell Wilson renegotiate his contract?

-         What’s hitting stores today in the world of music and movies?

9AM (2):

-         ATF Agents in Louisiana raided a cigar bar under suspicion that they were operating without a legitimate permit. Meanwhile, people in Colorado are smoking pot in the streets.  

-         Bob Dylan sounds like he’s dying on his new record.

-         Looks like Suge Night will be locked away for a long time.

9AM (3):

-         5 Random Facts: Every time you hit a space bar, 600,000 other people around the world are doing the same thing.

-         Punxsutawney Phil may have bit the Mayor because he found out another man inadvertently killed his brother last year.

-         What are the top signs that you’re in a serious relationship? Signs include getting a joint bank account and paying a mortgage together.

9AM (4):

-         Who is Joe Tex?

-         Sheila Jackson Lee is having a press conference in Houston today.

-         When’s the last time you had a pleasant experience with the Postal Service?

-         Head over to the Urban Dictionary today and check out the Walton & Johnson page.

 
 


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