5AM (1):
- The word
“homophobia” may be misused. However, “Islam-o-phobia” is a legitimate fear.
- Cardboard signs
are still the most effective way to rally against injustices.
5AM (2):
- Why does the
president refuse to use the term “Islamic terrorist?”
- Barack knows just
a little too much about Islam to be the president of a non-Islam country.
- Even Jon Stewart
can’t figure out what Barack is doing.
6AM (1):
- If Islam is a
religion of peace and love, then 200 million people must want to kill us.
- Have you ever
pooped in a river? Billy Ed recalls his experience floating a “brown bass.”
6AM (2):
- We may actually
see the sun in Houston tomorrow.
- A Florida man
stole hundreds of pieces of “dream underwear” from Victoria’s Secret over the
course of a year.
- Would we be a
better country if Florida wasn’t attached?
6AM (3):
- We’re 14 days
into 2015 and Mr. Kenneth is sticking to his new diet.
- Calls
6AM (4):
- 5 Random Facts:
Did you know that there are 96 bags of human poop on the moon?
- Have you heard of
the term “Daesh” when referencing ISIS?
- What kind of a
guy would try to poison John Boehner? According to reports, the man responsible
was Boehner’s personal bartender at a country club.
7AM (1)
- Audio: Nancy
Grace and rapper 2 Chains square off about pot laws.
- Why does Greta
Van Susteren have a crooked face?
7AM (2):
- Audio: Teen girls
are getting drunk by soaking their tampons in vodka.
- Two car thieves
in Oklahoma couldn’t get a car started when they realized it had a push-button
starting system.
- What kind of
person is named Joquasha?
7AM (3):
- Audio: Two QVC
hosts debate whether or not the moon is a planet or a star.
- Al Jazeera
America is going out of business. Who would’ve guessed?
- If you were being
arrested and the cop started having a heart attack, what would you do? Jamal, a
Florida man made the news by deciding to help an officer in need during his
arrest.
- If you’re a cop
and would like to give us all a get-out-of-jail-free card, we’d be much
obliged.
7AM (4):
- It was announced
yesterday that Apple computers was granted a patent for “touch technology,”
which allows users to use their smart devices with gestures.
- This day in
history
8AM (1):
- Kurt Busch
claimed yesterday that his ex girlfriend is a gun-toting murderer. The story
sounds bizarre enough to come out of the Twilight Zone.
- Tragedy in India!
- Why does the US
military have social media accounts?
- Parody: The
federal government wants you to keep your Java application up to date!
8AM (2):
- Audio: While
we’re on the subject of Nancy Grace, remember the time that she farted on
Dancing with the Stars?
- Calls – Sherrie
has a Horny family
- According to a
Glee cast member, showering is a “white person thing.”
8AM (3):
- According to a
study, a Dentist is the best profession to have in the year 2015.
- You know you’re
in for a good story when an article starts out with the words “A Florida
man…”
8AM (4):
- Great news:
Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell will announce today whether or not
global warming is real.
- A survey of women
asks them which men they fantasize cheating with the most. Oddly, the option
for favorite whacky radio DJ isn’t on the list.
- A man named Pat
runs a YouTube channel featuring videos of him playing the game Minecraft.
Sadly, this isn’t the disturbing part. Turns out the guy has over 1 billion
channel views.
9AM (1):
- Sad news: A
beauty queen has died after receiving plastic surgery for free after winning a
pageant.
- Celebrity
birthdays
- David Lee Roth is
now sporting a shaved head.
- Let’s face it:
Anyone with the name T-Bone must be cool.
- What’s your
favorite Faye Dunaway scene?
9AM (2):
- According to
George Lucas he’s very excited to see the next Star Wars because he technically has nothing to do with the
production of it.
9AM (3):
- According to an
old PD in Chicago the guys know, you NEVER want a Chinese woman. She just might
rob you blind and cut off your dong.
- The guy that made
the bad call during last weekend’s Cowboys game will likely be fired.
9AM (4):
- Howard Hughes
died on this day in history.