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June 19th, 2012
Lady Gets Set On Fire

A woman in a bad neighborhood in Palm Beach, Florida was set on fire yesterday morning at 4am by her lover when she was late picking him up from work.  

But what really has her steamed?  She had both of her cars towed. 

The towing company charged her more than $500 to tow her car away from the parking lot of a 7-11 where her estranged Haitian lover, Roosevelt Mondesir, doused her in gasoline and set her on fire. 

The towing company charged her twice - once to tow her Mercedes and once to tow her lover's Jaguar, [which she purchased for him in her name.]

The bills would have put her in a financial hole but a stranger came to her rescue and paid the two towing bills.

Hot dog, that's good news!  When did this happen, Tuesday?  I would have guessed Fryday.

Maybe I should've stopped after the first fire pun, but when I'm hot, I'm hot.
 
Wait, she has a Mercedes and a Jaguar but towing fines would've financially crippled her?

I feel bad for her being attacked and all, but that's some serious 'living-out-of-your-means' B.S. that really fires me up.

-Producer Ken


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