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September 14th, 2011
Dwarf Porn Star Eaten by Badger

Pint-sized Percy Foster,35, made a decent living every Christmas playing one of Snow White's dwarfs or Santa’s elves.

But he found there was better money to be made, all year round, by getting his pip-squeak pecker pulled in porno vids.

And since a production assistant on one movie noticed that Percy is the spit of fiery Gordon, 44, he's been writing his own pay cheques.

Percy said:  "I made my first adult feature in 2009 with fully-sized woman Sonia Splitarse – I don’t think that’s her real name – and it was great fun.

"It was in June of this year, on the set of Hi-Ho- Hi-Ho, It’s Up Your Arse We Go, that someone noticed I looked like Gordon Ramsay.  Porn lookalikes get more money than normal actors. Dwarf lookalikes are as rare as hen’s teeth and so can command top dollar.  I’ve already ordered a new BMW and a diamondencrusted Soda Stream."

Grumble movie producer Dexter Yamunkeh said: "We are not passing off Percy as Gordon Ramsay – for one thing, Gordon’s not 3ft 6in."

Now, in an unfortunate development, the Gordon Ramsay lookalike has been found dead in a BADGER’S SETT!

Last week, Sunday Sport revealed how diddy Percy Foster, 35 - who is the spitting image of the foul-mouthed TV chef - was appearing in adult movies.

But with the world at his feet and producers beating a path to his door, it’s all over for pint-sized Percy.

His tiny corpse was found deep in an underground chamber by Ministry of Agriculture experts ahead of a planned badger-gassing programme near Tregaron, west Wales.

Burrow

And expert CSI teams had to use fingertip technology to remove his body from the six-foot-deep burrow.

Sources close to the investigation said Percy was clothed but parts of his corpse had been "partially gnawed" by animals.

It is not yet clear how Percy died, though suicide has not been ruled out. Movie producer Dexter Yamunkeh said:   " Percy was a little guy with big problems.  He was doing well but he was under pressure, 24/7, like everyone in this goddamned business. "


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