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March 10th, 2010
Apparently Not a First Line of Defense

#1.)They're obviously two different sizes.

#2.)They get so itchy you just have to scratch them . . . even in public.

#3.)They're really saggy and squishy.

#4.)They're oddly shaped, like cones.

#5. The areolae are too big and dark.

#6. They're abnormally lumpy.

#7.)They're riddled with stretch marks.

#8.) If you wear low-cut tops, eventually they're going to accidentally pop out, and someone's going to get a free show.

#9.)Your nipples stand at attention when it's cold.

#10.)They're so disproportionately large that whenever you wear a button-down shirt, you pop a button. (--Okay, so it was nine problems and one blessing from God.)




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