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January 25th, 2011
No State of the Union Would Be Complete Without...

EVENT

# of Drinks

Every time he says....

 

General Blather

"The state of our union is strong" (or some version of this)

1

hope

1 wishful shot

change

1

"hopeful audacity of yes we can change"

sip of unicorn wine

progress

1

"let me be clear"

1

"make no mistake"

1

rhetoric or civility

smile falsely while taking a shot

Foreign Policy

troops

small 1

Iraq

1

Afghanistan

1

Iran

1

Pakistan

1

China

shot of something red

renmimbi

grab a yuan coin for a game of Chinese quarters

Domestic Policy

special interests

1

education

1

reform

1

debt

borrow a shot from a friend, promise you'll really pay it back this time

deficit

finish your drink; borrow the drink of the person next to you and drink it too

austerity

1/8 of a shot

stimulus

1 espresso or coffee liqueur shot

investment
in reference to government spending

1

investment
in reference to individual discretionary financial decisions

hide your shot under your bed; drink it the next time the Dow drops 100 points

unemployment

1

jobs

1
+1 if you've been unemployed in the last year
+2 if you're unemployed today (we've been there)

Wall Street

1 hoity toity shot

Main Street

PBR gulp

budget freeze

mix a frozen drink, pour the frozen drink into a cup half the size of the drink and lick the remnants off the floor (It's a budget metaphor. Get it? Har!)

filibuster

drink until 60% of the people with whom you're watching agree to stop... or go unconscious

"Don't mess with Texas!" (Sure it's a non-sequitur, but why break tradition?)

Exchange confused glances, drink freely

Every time he....

references streamlining or reducing unnecessary regulation

streamline the contents of your glass into your mouth

uses an anecdote to defend a policy

1 for health care reform
2 for anything else

refers to the unusual seating arrangement

change seats with someone

sets a long-term objective or vision to be met after his current term is up

shot of what you'd like to be drinking in 2021 and beyond

Every time the camera shows....

the First Lady

1

the First Lady's arms

1, delivered by bicep curl

Joe Biden, and he looks like he wants to interrupt the speech

1

your congressman/woman

1
and pat yourself on the back for being able to identify your congressman/woman

a close-up on Speaker John Boehner

1
+1 if he's crying
best if drinking the most bronzed or orange beverage available

a "special guest" who is introduced by the President

1

a "special guest" who is a member of the armed forces

1

a standing ovation from HALF of Congress
Keep in mind the new civility-inspired mixed seating arrangement

1

Other

if the speech is under an hour

Finish your drink and have another beer

REPUBLICAN RESPONSE BONUS GAME

socialism/ist; communism/ist

1 shot of something red, drunk with your left hand

reference to people rejecting Obama's policies at the ballot box

1

wasteful spending

1

Tea Party

one shot, drunk from a tea cup (or tea pot if you really want to get into it)

 

(Source) 


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