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November 23rd, 2010
Why a Man Should Carve the Turkey

Bring on the bird!

 Whether you spend the holidays with family or just some good friends, the center of your meal will be a huge mountain of holiday meat. Whether you prefer a ham, Christmas goose, turducken, or a Tofurkey, one of the main images of the holiday is a table loaded down with food, and the meat takes center stage. The job of preparing that meat is important, and so is the job of carving it. It's a job that needs to be done right, but don't even think about handing the knife over to another:

Carving the meat is your job. It's your responsibility, and while in the past the man hasn't always done it, we feel you need to reclaim your place. Read on for our reasoning.

Carving the meat asserts you as head of the house
If you're the one hosting the meal this year, then you and your wife or girlfriend have done the most preparation. You've gotten the house set up for company, made sure the game is on for people to watch, poured the wine for your guests, and figured out what time to cook things so they'll all be hot and ready when it's time to serve. You've done all that preparation because this is your dinner party. You've invited all these people into your home and offered to share a meal with them as a show of kindness, and your invitation asks your guests to enjoy all with as little work as possible, and this includes the meat.

Carving the meat satisfies your mental caveman
The fact is, the meat isn't just a part of the meal; it's the centerpiece of the holiday meal. There's something about a huge serving of meat that touches something deep in our genetic history. Men have an instinctual love of big roasting pieces of meat. You can attribute it the “caveman brain,” or even just modern man's love of meat (your dad knew his way around a steak, after all), but the fact remains that serving up cooked meat satisfies something deep and primordial in a man's brain. Next time you're at a cookout, take a look at how all of the guys hang around the grill: The extra hands aren't needed to work the grill, but we just want to observe how the meat is coming along.

Carving the meat allows you to play the role of provider
The kitchen table is one of the most important locations in your house. We don't want to go on and on here, but think about it: Since man first appeared on Earth, our need for food has driven us. Since we've been killing animals for meat, it's been man's job to put food on the “table.” You can even think of the alpha male as the one who provides for his pack. The fact is that there is a simple pride in bringing all of these people into your home to sit at your table and receive nourishment from a meal you've prepared and paid for as a man. It's nice for the guests, but the real reward is yours: the masculine pride you'll feel at having all these people under a roof you paid for, inside a house you pay to heat, to enjoy a delicious meal that you've provided. Your table is a central part of your house, and you are in charge of the food that goes on that table. You are the man of the house, and you know how to provide food -- and you know how to carve meat.

Because that's what men do
If you've read this far, our position should be pretty clear: The man carves the meat because that's what the man does. It's your responsibility as the man of the house to carve the meat and for you to pass it off to anyone is to hand in your title as the man of the house. Carving meat is simple, and if you don't know how, learn how. If you can't be bothered to learn how and can't be bothered to watch our video on how to carve a turkey with some basic knife work, we can't help you. Be sure to turn in your grilling utensils on the way out the door: You don't deserve them. If you’re not that guy, grab a beer, man up and relax -- it's a big knife, a gorgeous mountain of freshly cooked meat and a table fulL of fans cheering your big performance on. There's nothing to be afraid of, sir; it's pure pleasure. 

Because of its central role, the man should carve the meat since he is the head of the house, the one overseeing the holiday meal. It’s a big responsibility, sure, but also a really enjoyable one. By grabbing the carving knife and fork, and being the one to carve the meat, you assert yourself as the central male during the holiday feast, placing yourself in a position of respect. Since you're the one who gets to slice into that holiday-cooked perfection, you should be respected.

 


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